“It’s not always the heart. Sometimes the mind breaks as well.” r.h. Sin
We live our lives trying to measure up. But measure up to what? Perhaps to a standard that was set by our parents, a teacher, by society or even by religion. I get it. You’re the female who works tirelessly to make sure everyone else is comfortable and happy. You overthink and stretch yourself, because you want to be
enough more than enough. There are only a certain number of hours in a day, and you want to attack those hours. No regrets. At the end of the day, when your head finally hits the pillow, you wonder if you should’ve done more. Could you have been more perfect?
The answer is no. As always, you went over and beyond what was expected of you.
But people have dropped out of your life, haven’t they? And it hurts like hell. You’ve been shocked, disappointed, and sometimes abandoned. Left to wonder what you could’ve done differently. Maybe if you’d been softer or more authoritative … prettier or more outgoing … thinner or more educated. What if you hadn’t lost your temper? What if you’d spoken up about what was bothering you much sooner? What if you’d let more things slide? The what ifs are endless, and they wear on you. Maybe if you had been enough, you would have been more worthy of love. I mean, bottom line is that if people stop loving you, then something must be wrong with you. Right?
The answer is no. You are enough. The problem isn’t you.
But there are other women who have it all together. They have perfect relationships with their families and they are successful in whatever they do. They’re accepted and happy. You see them out, don’t you? They’re the ones who are always fixed up head to toe, wearing a smile. They must be doing something that you aren’t doing. What is the secret?
The secret is that there is no secret.
When we compare ourselves to others, we diminish the grandest act of God. You are his most prized creation, created in His own image. No one else in the world is exactly like you. What makes you unique (you know, those things you see as flaws ) those are what make you so beautiful.
That woman you see out and about in town who “has it all together”.
Picture her in your mind right now.
Yeh, she’s just like you. She looks in a mirror and sees all the things she wishes were different about herself. She’s had broken relationships, she’s lost her temper, she’s said things she wishes she’d never said and has done things she wishes she could un-do. She balances work and family and hits the pillow at night just as hard as you do. We’re all far more alike than we are different. Some just wear better masks.
Sometimes our minds break.
We forget life isn’t a competition … that there are no winners or losers.
The truth is, no one is doing life better than someone else. We’re all doing our best. If you’re breathing right now, you’re winning. Period. So stop looking for what’s wrong with you and start seeing all that’s so perfectly wonderful about you. When you begin to love yourself, others will love you back. What you believe about yourself, others will believe. And your strengths far outweigh your weaknesses. Trust that and go with it. There’s no need to fake it until you make it, because you’ve already made it. You are enough. Today, this moment, you’re everything you need to be.
As for those people who’ve left you and who’ve stopped loving you.
To those people who’ve made you feel like you’re not enough.
Let them go.
There are people who want to love you just as you are.